Before I get too far into my version of analysis, let me give you my background in regards to the Twilight series. I own the four books, and I have read them twice. I had read all of them before the first movie was released. I have seen all the movies released thus far, but I do not own any of them. As far as the books go, they're not clever. They're not particularly well written. They are most definitely not deep. What they are is incredibly entertaining. They're popcorn books. They're a quick read that doesn't fill you up. There are no brain calories included.
Fortunately, we're not here to talk about the books. In short, I find them entertaining and like them just fine. The movies, on the other hand, are a completely different story. As I have seen each movie only once in the viewing pleasure of my own home, I'm a bit shaky on the first three. Tonight, I'm only concerned with the most recent film, which covers the first half of the Breaking Dawn novel, and just how terrible it was.
Before you read any further, I want to warn you that I may have spoilers scattered throughout. I figure most of you who are huge fans have already read the books. Those of you who haven't read the books probably don't really care. I'm almost positive none of the guys are going to care what I spoil. If you are adverse to spoilers for the most recent film, turn back now.
Breaking Dawn - Part 1 did a couple things well, but most of it was pretty bad. I'm going to use the compliment sandwich and put the positive pieces on either end of the not so good parts. Unfortunately, this sandwich is going to look like one from Scooby-Doo, where there are two pieces of bread encompassing two slices of cheese and four hunks of meat.
When a book series has loyal fans, it can suffer when making the transition to film. People immediately complain about what was cut from the book, what was added to the film. These changes are often necessary because what works on the page doesn't always work in the picture. Fortunately, if all you want from Breaking Dawn - Part 1 is to see all the momentous scenes, you're going to be pretty happy. The movie stays incredibly faithful to the novel, even when it isn't a great idea. I give them props for realizing the scenes many fans felt were important. I didn't appreciate when those scenes dragged on for what seemed like far too long, but since the novel was being split into two films, they had plenty of time to spare.
Apparently, they decided not to spend much time on hair and make-up. Yes, I realize how shallow that sounds, but the novels aren't Shakespeare. When they spend so much time talking about how perfect the vampires* are, I expect them to look perfect. The beauty make-up is lackluster. Frankly, I didn't find Bella's dress to be all that spectacular, but that's personal preference. I will give credit where credit is due and acknowledge that the make-up used to make Bella look sickly in the latter part of the movie is effective. She looked like a cross between Sarah Jessica Parker, Lindsay Lohan, and Skeletor.
Speaking of Skeletor, Jacob and Edward started channeling him when they decide to join forces, as evidenced by the dialogue and one of the few uses of nonverbal communication. The dialogue in the film manages to make the writing in the book look better, so there's that. Early on, you're forced to watch a procession of awkward wedding speeches. At least, I think they're meant to be awkward, but because the rest of the dialogue is so cringe worthy, I started to wonder. I will give them credit in that they can write better dialogue for women than George Lucas. Good job.
Perhaps just as off-putting as the dialogue were the special effects. I've never cared for the vampire speed effect, but the CGI wolves were worse in this movie than in the second one. I actually watched the trailer for the second film before it came out and liked the wolf effects. They were better than what I expected. Unfortunately, they seem to have taken a step back here. The film does a good job with practical effects, like Bella's emaciated form after the birthing scene, which only makes the CGI effects suffer further.
As the practical effects impact the perception of the CGI effects, so too does the dialogue impact the actors and their performances. If the actors don't have natural and believable dialogue, their performances suffer. I don't believe any of the actors involved in these films are terrible. I liked Kristen Stewart just fine in Adventureland. Robert Pattinson was a fine Cedric Diggory. Unfortunately, you wouldn't know that from watching these films. Kristen Stewart insists on constantly having her mouth hanging open; I'm not sure what emotion that is supposed to convey. The emotion I'm detecting is DERP! When the most believable acting performance is coming from Taylor Lautner, the least seasoned of the main actors, there's a problem somewhere.
Perhaps the problem isn't just the dialogue, but the showcased relationships. The relationships portrayed throughout the films are ridiculous. Edward spends all his time attempting to please Bella and rushes to apologize the one time he raises his voice. I'm happily married and have been in the same relationship for twelve years. No one is as whipped as Edward. He exists as a sixteen year old girl would write him. Yes, I realize I'm ignoring the more unbelievable fact, the fact that he is a vampire*. I can suspend my disbelief regarding sparkly vampires*, but relationships that don't function anywhere near normal just make no sense and are hard to accept.
Let's look at a couple basic parts of movies that are oft overlooked, the cinematography and soundtrack. There is one scene in the movie that makes use of drama cam, where the camera suddenly shifts to display shock or a sudden emotion change. It's lazy and didn't fit with the rest of the cinematography, which is why I noticed it. Add in a soundtrack full of emo music whose words don't match the emotions or actions of the characters and you've got a disconcerting mess on your hands.
Luckily, there is light at the end of the tunnel. A short bit into the credits, we are treated to a bonus scene starring the three Volturi. It is one of the funniest scenes in the whole film. Mark thinks they were trying to cram all the acting into that one scene, since they didn't use any in the rest of the movie. The scene isn't really important and just foreshadows the upcoming film a bit. What it made Mark and I realize is that we want to see the three of them with their own talk show; it would be hilarious. Mark spent at least twenty minutes talking like them and saying outlandish things after the movie ended.
Speaking of the end of the movie, where they split the book is so cliche that I called it before we even started the movie. I told Mark exactly how the film would end, and it did. Now, not all cliches are bad, so it may have actually been the most effective break. At the same time, it's so unoriginal that I fully explained to Mark what would happen. I think the filmmakers probably saw Avatar...
For me, watching The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 1 was an incredibly enjoyable experience. Mark cracked jokes throughout the entire movie. There were a few times that I had to pause it to flesh out plot points from the book, which made me feel needed, but most of the movie was spent laughing. Maybe I would have a different view of the film had I watched it alone. Somehow, I doubt it though. I spent half an hour repeating that it was an awesome movie and a bad movie. I compared it to Jason X, Jason in Space. That's a pretty high compliment on the unintentional humor scale.
I would like to give a shout out to a man who watched the film with a straight face when he went with his wife to the theater. Rick, I don't know how you did it. Mark and I held a moment of silence for you. The fact that you made it through the film without cracking wise shows just how much you love Tara. When the movie was over and we realized the feat you had achieved, we were amazed. You are truly impressive, sir.
*I use that term loosely.
I must point out the most egregious use of CGI: the newborn. Holly tells me that the director probably intended to CGI the infant to make her look more "perfect" because she's a li'l vampire*. To me it looks like they just drop kicked a baby down the uncanny valley.
ReplyDelete*apparently she's only half vampire**
**there were no goddamn vampires in that movie. In this universe instead of being bloodthirsty monsters that explode when exposed to sunlight, being a vampire just makes you very pretty and you get a super power; kind of like being an extra in the third X-Men movie.