Sunday, June 23, 2013

The HOA

The dreaded HOA...the Homeowner's Association....  You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.  To those of you that serve in some capacity with an HOA, I'm sure you're a good guy, just as I'm sure not all stormtroopers were jerks.  Sometimes, we get caught up in something not realizing just how wrong it is, but I'm getting ahead of myself.  Let me explain to you why I do not hold a high opinion of HOAs.

It all began on a lovely evening in Anhk-Morpork.*  Basker and Trysla** were preparing for a night on the town.  There was a certain zombie movie that needed seeing, and they were up to the challenge.  Before they could embark on their adventure, a wild text appeared.  Their landlord wanted to make sure they had no pets.  Of course, they had a cat, which the landlord knew about.  After kindly reminding the landlord of that fact, it was revealed they they are not allowed to have a cat.

Let's talk about their cat for a moment.  Mr. Fluffles is defenseless in the world, as he is missing his front weaponry.  Additionally, he's afraid of strangers and the outdoors.  He's pretty quiet and only bites the ones he loves.  Aside from spending short bouts of time on the balcony, he does not leave the house.

Well, someone decided to tell the HOA that there was a cat living with Basker and Trysla.  The HOA then decided to send a letter to the landlord stating that the animal must be removed or fines would accrue.  Mr. Fluffles spent four years living there with no problems, but suddenly, he is a nuisance.  The letter states that owners are more than welcome to have pets, but renters are not afforded the same rights.  It is a vague letter, saying that pets must be on leashes and must be cleaned up after.

Now, you have the story.  Let's talk about all the ways it's wrong.  

1. Basker and Trysla had no knowledge of the HOA rules.  They have a note in their lease allowing the housing of Mr. Fluffles.  At no point did they violate any rules presented to them.***  It is understandable why the HOA would restrict pets for renters, as a renter is not always going to care for a property as the owner might.  That being said, the owners should be able to make that decision, as it is their property in jeopardy.

2. The landlord was justified in contacting Basker and Trysla with the suspicion that there was an additional animal, likely a dog.  Basker and Trysla had spoken with the landlord about adopting a dog.  They didn't go through with it due to many factors, but I can see where the landlord would wonder.

3. The HOA made no attempt to speak with Basker and Trysla.  The letter is vague, not stating what type of animal they saw.  Is it possible they mistook someone with a dog for Basker and Trysla?  As Mr. Fluffles only leaves the condo to sit on the balcony, which is in itself pretty rare, it seems mighty suspicious.  Is it perhaps a generic letter, sent out to scare people?

4. Basker and Trysla have no real recourse.  The landlord has asked them not to speak to the HOA for fear of making things worse.  One cannot deal with accusations if one can not speak with the accuser.  Was the clause stating no pets for renters in place four years ago when the lease was created and signed?  Is this a recent addendum?  We'll never know...

I'm sure HOAs actually serve some sort of good purpose.  Honestly, I've never heard anyone speak highly of an HOA, but I'm sure there's a first time for everything.  I'm sure the people running the HOA are just trying to do what's right, but that is little comfort when Basker and Trysla are going to have to move from their home after four years.  I know I should blame the landlord, but I just can't bring myself to do it.

*Locations have been changed to protect the innocent.

**Names have also been changed to protect the innocent.

***Trysla is lawful good.

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